People like to think that parenthood or no, they are still the same person. They can still have it all, carry on with the life they have always had. At least this the story that is peddled through the media, the magazines, even the blogs sometimes. But you know what? I actually like that motherhood has changed me, that my life has been turned completely upside down since my babies arrived. I like the new life, the one very far removed from the old life. I like that my kids are my all. And if that’s a sad, non-progressive thing so say, then so be it. I embrace it and I am happy with it. So I have been reflecting on this, and I can see 5 ways that motherhood has changed me….
My career no longer defines me. I don’t think that being a ‘mum’ defines me either, I think I am just as I am. I remember feeling quite lost when I first left my career as until then, that’s what I was. Whereas somehow over the past few years I have rediscovered who I am again, the things that I love, my real priorities. I am comfortable as I am.
I am more emotional. Not at every day things, I am not much of a crier and drama rarely surrounds me, but over films, books, the news, stories about friends, these things can make me cry so much more easily these days. Maybe motherhood makes me ‘feel’ more? I don’t know, has anyone else found this?
I am less materialistic. I don’t think I was ever that materialistic, but we didn’t think about money before kids, we’d just buy whatever we wanted. Since having the children and giving up my old job, we have had to spend considerably less and it has not affected me. Money makes things easier but that’s about it. We have talked about me returning to my career again, but the pros just don’t outweigh the cons. Time with my family, even if that means with less money, means the most to us all.
I am more chilled out. Which sounds odd, doesn’t it? I mean, sure, I am still hot tempered and I am not sure that’ll ever go away, but I get less wound up about things. Fewer things niggle me, fewer things make me lose it. Maybe the kids have just worn me down over the years?!
I am happier. I didn’t ever feel unhappy, but having the kids has simply made me happier.
I suspect that some of this comes with age anyway, and it’s all coincided with motherhood. I think as you get older you do feel more comfortable in your own skin and don’t worry over the little things in life. But I do think that being a mum has fundamentally changed me in all of these ways. And there’s always the obvious one, you have to become pretty selfless as a parent it comes with the territory!
Then there are all the ways that I am still me and were me long before the children came along. I remain optimistic, impatient, organised, flexible, with my husband the centre of my world. Will these things ever change? I hope not. They are the essence of me, I think.
How do you feel that motherhood has changed you? If at all?