You know occasionally, you’re going about your normal every day business and all that motherhood involves, and something just stops you? It makes you pause for a moment, relish it, perhaps see memories whiz by or moments flying into the future. I can’t be the only one who has this, so I’m hoping at least one person out there will be nodding by now.
Sometimes it can be something funny or adorable that they come out with. It makes me want to hug them all the more tightly. I love watching their delight at their bubbles machine in action, the wonder in their eyes as they look up at an air balloon, their gleeful anticipation on opening a big new tub of craft materials. All of these things fill me with joy and make me melt. They remind me that I’m lucky to be their mum, make me ponder what it was I did that has made me this fortunate. I wouldn’t say I’m a particularly sentimental person, though having children has certainly made me more so. Made me more appreciative of the little things, I guess. Made me notice, which I’m thankful for, as days can go by pretty quickly with two crazy ones to run around after!
But the moments that really get me, that make me stop and tear up happily? They tend to be the most innocuous of things. Often unremarkable. Certain proclivities and idiosyncrasies of my children.
Socks. Socks get me. It’s the way that Boo will always take her socks off after around 10 minutes of having them on. Why? Her feet are hot, or ‘scratchy’, whatever that means. Sometimes they’re discarded and strewn, sometimes placed neatly together, alongside the ones that Little Man will also discard, because he’s seen his big sister take hers off. There’s something about finding them like this that makes me smile, even though I have to pick them up daily. Or it’s the way that Little Man’s still so small that when his sock starts sliding down his foot, and make his ankle look like it’s severely disjointed and broken, he still totters along in them, oblivious, until I come along to pull them up and give him a cuddle while I do so. These are the moments that make me want to hold the children tighter, slow down the seconds, keep them small in my arms. These little things hold a certain innocence and they have somehow come to be representative of my children being young and very dependent on me, and whilst I know that this needs to change, and will change, I want to keep that for now. Hold on to it for a teeny while longer. I need these sock moments.*
What moments get you like this?
*the moments that I need a little less, are when I pick up said socks and pop them into the back pocket of my jeans, as I do practically every morning, ready to take upstairs for the washing basket. And then forget that I’ve done this and only remember when I arrive back home from the preschool run, and discover flappy socks hanging over my bum….Oh well, better than knickers is what I immediately reassured myself with…