We’re a family of four and are fortunate to be able to spend a fair bit of time all together. Recently, I’ve been noticing how family time changes and shifts over the years, and how things are these days. Family time’s definitely different now that they’re a little older.
We still have fun days out, roams around parks and National Trusts, a browse around the shops, but I’d say not as much as when they were younger. They’re busier nowadays, life seems to be busier nowadays.
The kids are growing up, they like to spend time with their friends, either in person or online or calls, my teen enjoys relaxing in her room, my son enjoys lots of sporting activities.
On the whole, I like that things are shifting. It’s good to see them growing up.
We have a dynamic in our house that means when we’re all together, my son often gravitates towards spending time with his dad and my daughter opts to do things with me.
It’s not a conscious and deliberate decision, it’s simply because our interests align like that. They want to watch a football match, we want to watch a film. They want to go to the cricket, we want to go to the theatre.
Whilst my daughter’s interests are easy for me to take an interest in as they’re so similar to mine, my son’s are a little more challenging for me.
I’ll watch football, but I’m not excited by it. Same goes for pretty much most sports and definitely for video games. And these things are my boy’s favourite things.
So I try.
I pay attention to the latest scores, I listen as he tells me all about the match he’s watched, I ask him about the games he’s playing.
He knows I’m asking because I have no clue, he patiently educates me! And he knows that his friends and his dad can all talk to about these things knowledgeably, so he can overlook my complete ignorance.
I’m not sure I need to be passionate about the same things that my kids are passionate about. They have friends there who can fulfil that role. But I do like them to know that I am interested, that I’m paying attention, that I am trying, as I know that if they care about something that much, then I should care too.
When we’re all at home, we are often busy with different things. Homework, chores, friends, gaming, reading, whatever it may be. So we make sure we do create some family time all together too.
It’s usually family film nights, board game afternoons, that sort of thing. We have a movie night most weeks, we all enjoy films so it works for us. It gathers us all in one place for a while.
When we go out, it’s often splitting us in half, a couple of us going here, a couple of us elsewhere, so we like to all get out together as often as possible. This always becomes easier in the warmer months, there’s definitely been some winter hibernation going on lately.
I think family time now that they’re a little older is something we seek out more deliberately.
When they were little, it was a given that we’d have the time all together, what else would the kids be doing? Now that they have their own interests and plans, we make more effort to ensure we eke time out together. That we’re still having fun with the kids and that we all still like to spend time as a foursome.
I know that this will only change even more over the coming years, but I think we’re ready for that, we expect it.
Family time should change as the kids get older. Our relationships are all shifting as the children grow into the people that they are meant to be. And I look forward to seeing the changes and enjoying the coming years with them.
Roll on proper conversations, kids with the ability to wait on themselves (I did say ability, not inclination), and more time spent doing the things that we all love.
Do you see your family time changing?