How To Be The Best Pen Pal

Whether you’re new to sending happy mail or you’ve had pen pals for year, everyone wants to be the very best pen pal they can be, don’t they? Of course! We love to enjoy our pen pal relationships and have fun with them, so today I am sharing a few ways on how to be the best pen pal. 

Write Back

Obvious, right? But stay with me here.

Sometimes life gets busy, for you or for your pen pal. And when that happens it can be easy to think that that’s the end of writing, but it doesn’t have to be.

Keep on writing. 

Don’t think to yourself that it’s been too long now and it’s too late to reply. Most people would love to receive a letter out of the blue, so if it’s been a while, do still put pen to paper. People do understand that sometimes life gets in the way of snail mailing. You can still be the best pen pal, even if it’s been a while.

There’s then the question of when to write back.

I shared How Quickly Should I Reply To My Pen Pal recently, and this is a handy guide around reply times if you’re new to this. 

Ask Them Questions

Respond to their last letter, ask questions about it, check in with them.

Get to know your pen pal through asking them things, show them how interested you are in them.

It’s only natural to do this, you’d ask things of your friends in person, so do the same through your letters.

You might find 7 letter prompts for your happy mail helpful here. 

Share Yourself

To be able to build a good pen pal relationship up, you are going to need to share yourself.

Just as with any friendship, the best pen pal relationships are those that are honest and open.

Fill them in on what you’ve been up to lately, let your personality shine through when you write.

Make each letter personal to them, write about those things that connect you and that you have in common, it’s great to find kindred spirits through snail mailing. 

writing paper and pen

Have Fun With It

The key to being the best pen pal you can be is to have fun with it.

Whether this means enjoying settling down to reply, getting creative or being lovely and chatty in your letter, go with whatever this means to you personally.

You might enjoy trying some easy mail art or you might love the whole process of writing of writing, from grabbing a cup of tea to choosing the pen and paper you’re going to use. 

When you enjoy the whole happy mail experience it comes through in your mail and to your pen pal.

What About Extras?

Ah, the extra things that pen pals send, are these the make or break things that set you apart as the best pen pal?

I don’t think so. No.

These are just that, little extras, and not at all essential. 

Yes, there can be mail art, mail tags or happy mail inserts and goodies, but don’t take this part too seriously. This is just a bit of fun, the friendship and connection is what it’s all really about. 

What do you think? What makes your pen pal stand out as being the best pen pal?

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2 thoughts on “How To Be The Best Pen Pal”

  1. Very good advice. I’m not sure what alters the pattern to get too busy to write. For me it’s important to share and hear about what the “busy” was. It’s therapeutic and helpful on either side and it makes solid letters. Too many go on about “nothing exciting happening”, which might be self-deprecation, but I’m not sure. Either way, writing letters helps us keep track of ourselves too, which is very healthy!

    Thanks for all the tips. I often remember old books on letter writing and it’s always pointed out to make it a conversation like one might have in person, but that might be more for writing the way one would speak, personal odd words and such like that.

    1. Thank you. I think you’re right, writing does help to keep track of ourselves, and it can be easy to get too busy to allow for that, so it’s always good to get back to it. And yes, that’s exactly how I write, like a chatty conversation, it makes it fun.

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