Recent months have really tested my mental health, yet I’ve had so many people around me telling me how well I’m doing, how strong, how positive.
Firstly I’d say, no-one is those things all of the time, and I’d say many of us choose not to share our difficult days. I also believe it’s unhealthy to strive to be all of those things all of the time, it’s fine to feel sad, anxious, down and any other ‘negative’ emotion. It’s just normal, isn’t it?
But yes, I do prioritise taking care of my mental health. Some things come easily to me, others I have to work at more, because it’s so important to do so.
Here are a few thoughts I’ve had, some things that I do that do help me to stay resilient and content.
I surround myself with the right people
I have some lovely friends, and they’re in my life because I want them in it. I spend time with people that I enjoy spending time with. I look forward to our get togethers. After catching up with them, I’m happy. If I didn’t feel like this, I wouldn’t be spending my time with them, why waste time like that?
I also married the right person. He’s a constant that steadies me always.
I say no
If I can’t do something, if I don’t want to do something, if I’m uncomfortable with something, I say no. Simple as that.
I enjoy the moments I am in
This is very much a ‘little things’ mentality. I find happiness in small moments and make sure that I am noticing them and appreciating them.
I accept sadness and frustration
I guess what I mean by this, is I allow myself to feel all of these things and then I move on. I don’t fight it, I don’t believe we can all be positive all of the time, so when I feel down I live with that mood for a moment, examine it if I feel I need to, and then I use various other things from this list to coax me back into a better place.
I don’t worry about things I can’t control
Of course I have worries like everyone does, but if I can feel it threatening to overwhelm me or encroach upon my peace, I think about what I can actually do about it. And if it’s something that I can’t change, or something that hasn’t even happened yet, I park it.
I choose my reaction
Following on from that one, I know that I can choose my reaction. I can’t stop things happening around me and to me that upset me, hurt me, anger me, stress me, but it’s within my control how much I allow it to do those things and affect my mood and how I choose to react to it. And whenever I can, I choose to move on from it and focus on something more productive or positive.
I don’t worry about what other people think
I’ve never been a people-pleaser, and as I’ve got older, what other people think matters less and less to me. I guess it links in to not worrying about things I can’t control and choosing my reaction. I know I’m a good person, mum, wife, friend and so on, and as long as the people that matter to me have a good opinion of me, that’s all I need.
I add things to my days to lift my mood
Always little things, sprinkled in every day. Playing music as I work, practising yoga after I’ve been at my desk for a while, taking a walk in the fresh air to start my day, relaxing with a book at the end of the day. Little things that boost me.
I love learning new things
This one seems to come up repeatedly as something that boosts mental health, and I get it. It’s great for self confidence, self esteem and for me, it’s just plain fun and interesting. I’ve always loved learning, I liked school, and some of you may remember that I completed my degree with the OU just a few years ago. But it needn’t be structured academic things, I like anything new and different, I’m always learning about new things and if something catches my attention, I will be all in on learning about it.
I take care of myself physically
This will always have an immediate knock-on to my mental health. I walk outside, I exercise, I eat well, I drink plenty of water, I don’t drink or smoke, I rest when I need to, I get enough sleep, you get the idea. All of this allows my mind to rest, to recharge, and I can relax knowing I’ve moved, knowing I’ve done something to boost my fitness and health.
These are the things that have come readily to mind when I think about how I protect my mental health. It’s always been important to me, but over the past twelve months it’s been really tested and I’ve learned how important it is to prioritise it. My mental health will affect how I treat my physical health and my physical health boosts my mental health. They are intertwined and add up to my overall wellbeing.
My mental health is strong because I work on it all of the time, with all of those things I’ve shared here. It’s ongoing.
What do you to keep yourself feeling healthy?