It’s something that I often wonder. I cannot believe I’m the only one plagued with never-ending mum guilt and worries that I’m getting it wrong. I think I’m doing OK one moment, and then something happens and I’m back to questioning myself again. Am I too strict, am I too easy on them? Am I giving them enough of my attention, am I giving them enough time to themselves to feel confident without having me hovering? Am I exposing them to enough experiences and activities, am I tiring them out, not concentrating enough on one thing at a time?
And probably most importantly, do they feel loved, safe and secure. I think this one’s a biggie, as I really believe it sets them up for a happy childhood and to be self assured little people. So instead of wondering any more, I asked. I asked my 5 year old daughter if she thinks I’m a good mum (she said yes, but there may be bias there), and so I asked her to write down five things about me that makes me a good mummy…
A translation for you:
1. Kisses
2. Hugs
3. Write me letters
4. She loves me
5. You take me to the playground
So there you have it. The guide to being a good mum, from the best judge of all.
I will try not to agonise over the big parenting decisions, and concentrate on giving out more hugs and kisses. I feel so happy that she knows she is loved and I do like that she picked out my little notes and cards to her as special, and I always knew the way to her heart was a trip to the playground!
So if you’re ever doubting yourself, just ask your children how you’re doing. I suspect you’re doing better than you think.
I wonder this all the time, the guilt is never ending!! Definitely going to ask my children this week & see what they say! X
It really is. I’m sure you’ll be pleased! x
Oh what a beautiful list. All the important things are definitely covered there and sounds like you are doing a great job according to Boo. Thanks for sharing with #ftmob 🙂
I do like her sense of priorities! Thanks for hosting x
I’m wondering this a lot at the moment with the imminent arrival of my first. What a wonderful idea to ask them themselves! And how lovely that it’s the simple things that really matter to them. Loved this post! X
It seems to be, and those things I can do 🙂 Thanks x
How sweet is this, children are so loving and help to bring us back down to a form of reality x
Thank you. It made my day x
You know, I obsess over this a lot, and I really do sometimes think I am the world’s most rubbish mum. Finley is really tough to settle on some evenings and won’t chill out. Some days I am advised that it is because I don’t do enough with him, and sometimes it is because I do too much. I can’t win, and the endless advice from family makes it tough to listen to your own heart.
I love the idea of writing letters to the kids – I will start to do that. Finley loves arts and crafts, so he will adore little cards written to him. We don’t go to the playground enough, because I find it really hard to take them both on my own. When Fraser is older it will be easier. A large back garden with climbing frames would be ace!
He gives me lots of kisses and cuddles (because I give him lots) and he extends his affection to his little brother too, which is gorgeous.
This was a nice post to pep me up a little. Feeling better about myself as a busy, preoccupied mum trying to juggle ten zillion things! x
Good, so glad to pep you up! It’s a tough job and listening to endless ‘well-meaning advice’ does not help! The letters thing is lovely, and she adores it. But I’d say ask your two to tell you why you’re a great mum and I’m sure you’ll feel loads better as it’ll be the little things x
Oh Jocelyn that is the most beautiful list! I think you deserve a high five as you’re obviously doing it right x
Thank you! It’s such a lovely thing to do, very reassuring! x
I think that really is the best you can do. If giving you hugs and kisses are 1 and 2 then you have to be doing something very right x
Thanks, Jenny. Those are the first things she thought of and they’re easily given 🙂 x
This is so wonderful! What a lovely list =)
I think it is something we do all worry about, but there you have it, in black and white (well pink and white!) you are doing an awesome job =D
Thank you! It’s always a worry, but I can refer back to that list now 🙂
Aw what a lovely thing to do… I may just have to do that myself too Jocelyn! And you really can’t ask for more than them knowing that they’re loved, can you? We tell our little bear we love her every single day (of course) and many times a day, too! Sometimes she says “I know that!!!” To which I simply say, “good!”
Yes, do it, you’ll love it! Ah, so important for them to know that they are loved.
Best post ever!! It really is – those five points just sum it up perfectly really. It is just the simplest of things <3
Ah, thanks, Holly! As long as she feels loved, things must be OK, I think 🙂
I’ve come to the conclusion that all good parents agonise over how their kids will turn out. Love this list and am definitely going to steal your idea hon. Have a fab weekend xxx
I think you’re probably right. Yes, do it! Thanks, you, too x
Oh! this is so sweet and true!! Our kids are easier than everything that goes on inside our minds! Thank you for sharing this.
Alina
http://www.eclecticalu.blogspot.com
Thank you, I needed it at the time, and there are days it helps to look back at it!
The way to her heart was the trip to the playground, that is awesome.
The best of places!