How often do you just stop? Entirely, I mean? I know for me it’s a very rare thing.
I realised this last weekend. The Husband took the kids out for a couple of hours. It’s not often I have time alone like this, and this was only because the dog’s getting over surgery and we didn’t want to leave him home on his own. Two hours. What could I do in two hours? I’d planned to write a couple of blog posts, naturally. But then a headache struck and sitting in front of a screen just wasn’t an option. I was frustrated. What a total waste of two hours. That was my overriding thought.
A waste. If I couldn’t be working, I was wasting time. So I set about a few jobs around the house, getting the washing in, a bit of ironing, cleaning the kitchen. At least I wasn’t wasting time, right?
I never stop in the day. Stopping is a waste. Stopping doesn’t get things done. Whether it’s doing things with the kids, blogging, housework, my to-do list, or even my ‘me-time’ such as reading or letter-writing, I have to be using my time for something. Of an evening, I do usually sit down and relax with the Husband, but I’m still not entirely stopping. An eye on social media, perhaps a book in hand, I don’t want to ‘waste time’.
There’s something wrong with that, I think. In fact, I’m sure of it.
I’m a mother, a wife and a home-owner, so there’s always something more that I can be doing here, especially when I’ve a two year old still at home with me full time. Then there’s being a blogger. A big problem with being a blogger is that you can never actually be finished. This isn’t to say that I’m moaning about it or lamenting the fact, it’s simply how it is. There is always something more that I could be doing, and if I’m just sitting about, it won’t get done, right?
So back to last Sunday, and do you know what I did? I ended up strolling round my little garden, checking out which flowers were blooming and smelling the roses. Yes, I quite literally stopped and smelled the roses.
It felt good.
It’s been a tough week or so here. I’m emotionally and physically drained. I’m starting to run on empty. It’s been really hard to keep going. I need to stop every once in a while.
I need to stop and smell the roses.
Just take that moment to be grateful for what I have here. I can then see things more clearly and I can appreciate what’s happening around me so much more. My perspective shifts. It’s not all about that moment and getting things done, it gives me a second to actually reflect, to think, to be. It calms me. It actually makes me more effective in the long term, too, as priorities crystallise and then as is always the case with my mind, I move to mentally organising what needs to happen to get there. All of this, just by stopping. And this is as well as the moment where I simply breathed in my favourite flowers and enjoyed them.
I felt better afterwards. Things appeared to be better afterwards.
Lesson learned. I need to stop every once in a while, step off the hamster wheel, and to stop feeling guilt over doing so.
Do you ever stop?