Two Years Ago

Two years ago this week I was in the Breast Clinic for the first time, thanks to a referral for a lump I’d found. 

The clinic involved a medical and lifestyle questionnaire, an examination, a mammogram, an ultrasound, and then I also needed a biopsy. It was a full on morning, and I found the biopsy painful, it took a few weeks to heal. I then waited.

In the end I had to wait five weeks for the results, a long time of wondering and what ifs. 

Despite being reassured it was nothing to worry about at the clinic, my appointment confirmed I had Breast Cancer and my treatment would be starting a couple of weeks later. 

Thinking back on it all, it seems a bit surreal. A whirlwind with all of the active treatment, appointments, consultations, surgery, radiotherapy, the constant waiting and wondering, the unknown lying ahead, and then all of a sudden you’re out the end of it and for the first time you can start to take it all in and try to make sense of life now. 

It’s a lot. A cancer diagnosis changes everything. 

And now two years on, where am I at?

Well, breast cancer treatment can continue for several years, depending on the cancer type. In my case, I am still being treated, though it’s adjuvant preventative treatment. 

70% of breast cancers are hormone receptive, meaning that hormones can feed those cancer cells and encourage them to grow. Treatment called Hormone or Endocrine Therapy is often used to reduce the amount of hormones in our bodies so that there is less to feed on. Let me explain, as I’ve had a lot of questions about this. 

There are a range of treatments available. I was on Tamoxifen for a year, and adjusting to life on that until last summer when I found it was causing another serious problem, so I had to stop them and move to something new. That was frustrating. 

Now I’m having a few years of monthly Zoladex injections which shut my ovaries down, in order to put my body into menopause so that I can take daily medication that only works for post-menopausal women. The Zoladex puts me into a medical menopause, with all of the side effects that come with that. I have to have these injections every 4 weeks exactly, so holidays and days out have to be booked around it.

Then the Hormone Therapy daily medication can be taken, Letrozole in my case, designed to reduce all of the other oestrogen that our bodies continue to make in our fatty tissue when our ovaries are no longer functioning. 

The idea is that on these drugs, you’ll have around 85% less oestrogen in your body than the average post-menopausal woman, so it’s a hard hit, from no menopause through to significantly worse than normal menopause in a matter of weeks. 

I’m 47 now and thanks to my cancer treatment, my body has virtually no oestrogen, which is quite the ride! We all know that we need oestrogen to function well and to age well, so this doesn’t bode too well.

I’ve had to have a bone scan, and I’ll continue to have these on this treatment to monitor the impact it’s having on my bones. And then blood tests to check my Vitamin D and Calcium levels too.

Of course HRT is not an option, as that completely defeats the object of the Hormone Therapy. Many ‘natural’ supplements aren’t an option either as most of them work by stimulating or boosting oestrogen levels, which is the opposite of what needs to happen. Which leaves what?

Nutrition, exercise and wellness. And that’s where I’m at. 

These things can help to reduce the risk of recurrence and I’ll do whatever I can do to stick around for my kids. But even more than that, they are about managing all that my body is going through right now with this treatment and helping me to age well by strengthening my body for the future.

I’m over here focusing on eating clean and well, and then walking, moving, stretching and strengthening my body and prioritising resting, relaxing and staying calm. I am simply doing all that I can, the only things that are available to me, to handle everything that my body is dealing with. 

And it’s working. Doing all of these things ensures I can handle the menopause symptoms day to day, and honestly, being hit with all of them is still a whole lot better than getting cancer again, so I don’t overthink it or get caught up in it all. 

I can feel myself becoming fitter, stronger and more energised, and more than that, I feel empowered. I can control how I choose to handle this, and I am choosing to prioritise taking care of my mental and physical health. 

It is hard. It’s making choices every single day to keep me on track. And this is as much a mental struggle as a physical one. 

But I want to be around for a good long while for my kids, and if taking care of myself is the way to do it, well that’s a no-brainer, isn’t it? The bonus is that in doing so, in being focused on ageing well, is that I feel good today. 

I mean, who knew that eating nutritiously, hydrating properly, moving my body regularly, getting a good night’s sleep, indulging in those things that make me smile regularly and letting the small stuff roll off me would make me feel calm and strong? Oh right, yeah, everyone! 

Two years ago everything changed.

Everything is different now, I am different now, and sometimes that different isn’t all bad.

Of course I wish I didn’t have cancer, that this had never happened to me, and by extension, to my family, and that I don’t have to live with the many life altering changes and repercussions from it. But these are the cards I’ve been dealt and it did happen. I am still here, I’m doing all I can to handle it, and I’m getting stronger every day. 

I am thankful to be here and I am enjoying all the moments that I get to have. 

 

 

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